I think you would have noticed by now that I am an outgoing person, for someone who has been given many chances of life “I don’t take life very seriously ” and why should I.
I was given a chance to live the life I wanted to live and considering I didn’t have a childhood or fun when I was growing up. I decided when I started this journey that I was going to do all the fun stuff I missed out on as a kid and not only this but bring in my 30’s with a bang and I certainly have.
Sure when I got clean and sober I could have grown up and in many ways I have but I’m just like peter pan "I don’t wanna grow up” and my madness is not unmanageable so “why the hell not”.
Life is short and in a blink of an eye it can be over and they did tell me it’s a day at a time so I try to live everyday to its full potential.
Easier said than done after I made this decision I discovered I actually had no idea what a normal childhood was like or what children enjoyed doing “I know shocking for a mother of five” that’s how distant from reality I was for so long. My new mission was to learn what was fun!!!
When I was little nobody ever asked me what I wanted to do, in fact nobody even asked me anything about me or my feelings so the little Zowie just sat there silent watching the world pass by. I started thinking about this and thought she deserves to be heard this is her life to so I started talking to her.
Every step that I have taken in this journey I have seek the guidance of little Zowie and in the past nearly two years we have had so much fun. We have eaten fairy floss and played with dolls, had food fights and slumber parties with our girlfriends. Trips on aeroplanes and the list goes on.
Meanwhile little Zowie and I bonded over these adventures I came to the understanding she was not only teaching me how to have fun, but was in fact helping me to heal, forgive and become more in touch with grown Zowie.
I had the awaking one day that I need younger Zowie and I had never needed anyone and I certainly couldn’t trust or rely on anyone but yet I could her. She had become part of my soul. In some way one of my children and I couldn’t imagine life without her today.
If you want to heal and become one with self I believe the first relationship you need to have is with yourself yes all of yourself including younger you.
To begin with it may feel strange and uncomfortable but growth doesn’t come from comfort and one does not come to a journey of healing if they are fully happy with yourself and within.
If you want to get to know your true authentic self ask what little you needs and wants. I think you might be surprised and she/he grows so will you.
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