What is your story? Tell us about your story from the beginning to where you are now?
My story begins early ages 5 or 6 maybe and smelling the scent of marijuana early
in the mornings coming from the basement. It was my father and I use to go see what it
was. Little rolled up baggies of shake lol. That was my first memory of drugs and brings us to age 12 13 when I moved to a new city. I had no friends but met a neighbor and was then introduced to my first hit of marijuana. From then on and all through high school it was smoking pot everyday and doing acid, sugar cubes, mushrooms, concerts, alcohol all the way till I graduated high school which still surprises me to this day lol.
But if I remember correctly it feels like that day I quit smoking weed instantly and somehow graduated to the harder stuff. Still alcohol just a lot more now and getting older it was cocaine and going out to the clubs not a care in the world. Then one day while out at the club my world change forever when I took a girl home. I didn't hear from her for a year after that when she called me and said that I was a daddy. My partying days and club hopping had came to a complete halt but even though I was using just cocaine and alcohol at the time I did what I had to do and took care of my son from day one.
Skip forward a few years and I hurt my back at work and was prescribed some kind of opiates whether it was hydros or oxys and that's when things got really bad. I was on that for about 2 years when I got cut off and like most people that's when you turn to the more cheaper and easier to get option which was H. So someone shot me up and I was hooked, from that point on it was any opiates or heroin for me everyday. I quit drinking after all them crazy nights. So once the money would run out I started boosting from stores and that's where I started getting in trouble. I'd go to rehab for 28 days because of it, get out and continue to do what I was doing all over again. I've been a heroin addict for probably 18 years now with multiple
rehabs outpatients ect and was probably sober maybe a third of them 18 yrs. Which is
so sad to me because the ones who really suffer are our loved ones. We hurt them the
most because we know that they are gonna be there always, its sick and twisted but that's the addict mind.
I have been on multiple suboxone programs, vivitrol nothing seemed to keep me from that needle. But I ended up in prison a few years ago for 2 years and something changed in me I was tired too tired at 37yrs old, so I really buckled down and did what I had to do. Came out of prison and continued to be sober and got hooked up with a veteran who was looking for a speaker on addiction to travel the states and speak about it, I said I'm in. So the reactions I was getting from people listening to my story I felt like was my new high. When I got home I got into a relationship way to soon and to make a long story short after 2 yrs with her I moved out and she married a man a MONTH LATER! So obviously she was cheating and I honestly thought she might of been the one. I relapsed, and she couldn't handle the fact that I needed help again she said I fucked everything up, I don't blame her about that but we could of worked it out not start cheating on me. Anyway so started suboxone again and to this day am still on it but sober in my mind.
What was the most challenging part about your journey? And what helped you get through?
The most challenging part about my journey would probably be my family and hurting them and being away from my son when getting in trouble. Also the fact that I just couldn't seem to stay sober despite of the consequences. What helped me get through that was the fact that my family never left my side and continued to support me also my son who could have not wanted to see me after being in and out of jail. He still continued to love me and that gave me the strength and courage.
What support systems helped you in your recovery?
My support systems throughout the years again would definitely have to be my family
some sponsors definitely meetings stuff like that. I never really thought meetings were
something that would keep me sober but the interaction sometimes with other addicts can
definitely help you.
What advice would you give to someone who is starting their recovery journey?
So my advice to someone that is starting their journey, I would have to say the biggest thing is one day at a time. I truly believe that whoever came up with that statement is 100% correct and that you have to really go minute by minute and not worry about the past or to head too far ahead of the future. Also I would say that if the person is looking to go to inpatient or even outpatient I would highly suggest that they go somewhere far away from their current living location. That was a big deal for me and that not seeing the same people and rehab or even in meetings that you see all the time can definitely help you being in a new place. I would also say that looking into all these different types of medications they have out now can definitely be a benefit two people's different situations. A true believer that even though some people think Suboxone or something like that is just another crutch but I believe that it helps people get to the next spot. You don't stay on it forever it's meant to be weaned off of and help you get to the next spot in your life.
Before and After
If you would like to share your story please email us at changetosurrender@gmail.com.
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