What is your story? Tell us about your story from the beginning to where you are now?
My name is Jonathan and I'm an addict. I am 41 and I was born in Bethlehem Pennsylvania to a loving mother and loving father. I was raised in a spiritual home we went to church 7 days a week until my dad started doing and selling drugs and ultimately stop going to church by the age of 13.
I started smoked weed and selling drugs by the age of 15. I tried heroin for the first time and I fell in love with it but I didn't catch habit right away. It wasn't till the age of 18 that I became a full-blown heroin addict and from 18 on I was in and out of rehabs.
At 21 I had my first child and I told myself I was not going to use drugs no more but that didn't last long before I was back out there again using drugs. At 22 I had twins and I figured the twins will probably help me get off drugs but that didn't work either I ended up going to jail.
When I got out of jail I remember on the ride home my dad telling me that he was clean and gave me some advice telling me that there's a way out of drugs. I remember him telling me, you know today everybody is going to start offering you drugs even for free just to get you back out there. I ended up going right back out to the streets to go hang out and that same day I picked up after almost a year clean. Not long after that I was back to the races hooked on drugs.
I ended up going back to jail again got clean for a little bit, while I was in jail I got sent to go to rehab and then a halfway house. I successfully passed the rehab the one I was in the halfway house a week after being there I started doing drugs again and I hit it really good because nobody really knew I was getting high in the halfway house. Until one day somebody snitched me out and I got kicked out of the halfway house and of course I was on probation so I violated probation and I went right back to jail. Ended up doing nine months in jail, I was clean the whole 9 months and got out of jail.
The same day I got out of jail I started doing drugs again but this time my dad was really sick and dying. The one thing I could say even though he showed us the drug game and had a sudden how to use drugs he even showed us that there was a way out. I remember after my dad passed away, take a couple months after that I got cool. I was doing pretty good for about 2 years and then I relapsed again. But this time my mom had moved to Florida after being out in the streets for a while, I decided to move down to Florida with my mom to try to get away from the drugs.
I ended up getting clean for a little bit and then we're right back to the races with doing drugs. I remember my mom was always going to church and she had brought the pastor's wife to the house. One day in the pastor's wife went to pray for me and invited me to church. I ended up going to church and then I ended up getting clean not too long after that and this time around I ended up staying clean for 5 years. I got really involved in church, I started doing jail Ministries and outside Ministries. Preaching from church to churches talking about what I was going to church from when I was using. I had lost contact with my kids and I remember when I was in church I would pray to God who I choose to call my higher power and ask God to reunite me with my kids.
I remember for 3 years I kept praying and praying and then I was finally reunited with my kids. Not only was I reunited with them but my kids came to live with me here in Florida. For 7 years I was a single father of three kids. I was clean five out of them seven years. I remember my son telling me that he was raped and that messed up my mind to the point that I relapsed again. I went out there hard, I didn't care about nothing you know I was what we say a functional addict. But I don't believe that this really a functional addict type thing. I was doing drugs and still taking care of my kids but everything was going downhill and going downhill fast. My twins ended up going back with their mother and my oldest one ended up moving in with her boyfriend and I was back at the races again.
From there I kept getting on and off on and off on drugs. At 37 I ended up robbing a bank card from a lady that I used to rent a room from and of course she called the police on me and they were looking for me. I moved to Pennsylvania again, I tried to get clean while I was in Pennsylvania but of course that did not work. I moved back down to Florida and I was going to turn myself in for robbing this lady but I was really bad on drugs. So I didn't turn myself in and that's when I met my other kids mother.
At 38 I had another child but with this child I ended up getting clean for a while because his mother had abandoned him in the hospital. He was born addicted to heroin and cocaine and seeing him go through that I didn't want him growing up with a drug addict father. So I stayed clean for a year then I ended up relapsing. This time around was the worst time out of all my time being on drugs.
At 39 I lost my place, I overdosed for the first time and I was homeless. Eating out of dumpsters, not taking showers for days and just just felt pure misery on them streets. I was bouncing from place to place with my son. Then my sister called DCF on me. I met with them and they told me if I don't want to lose my son I had to check into a rehab and successfully complete.
I checked into the rehab, at first my mindset was just to go in here just to get DCF off my case and have my son with me again. But one day at a meeting in the rehab, I heard someone share their story and I knew right there I wasn't the only one going through all this stuff. So I began to work on my program, I got myself a sponsor and I ended up being in the rehab for 5 months. While I was in rehab I lost my 19 year old son. At that moment I thought I was going to lose it all, I just wanted to run and to use again. But I thank God for the rooms of 12 step program they helped me get through the death of my son. I could have gone out and used as much as I wanted to. Give up after my son passed away but I didn't. I stood strong with the help of 12 step program I kept going forward and in July 30th of 2020 I picked up a year clean.
What was the most challenging part about your journey? And what helped you get through?
The hardest part about my journey was when my 19 year old son passed away. What helped me get through was my network of people in the rooms of 12 step program grief counseling and Trauma counseling.
What support systems helped you in your recovery?
What support system helps me in my recovery was the network of people that I built in the rooms.
What advice would you give to someone who is starting their recovery journey?
I would say the advice I would give somebody is learn to listen and say suggestions. As hard as it seems to, pick up that phone and call somebody. No matter what we don't have to use again, build yourself up a network of people. Go to meetings, get yourself a sponsor and then work with others. Share your experience, strength and hope with others
Before and After
If you would like to share your story please email us at changetosurrender@gmail.com.
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